Love goes around and around and around...
I do not believe we were put on this earth to just love one person our whole lifetime. We were created with the capacity to love many people throughout out life, even more than one at a time.They say the average person falls in love 7 times before they get married. You could be happily married and so in love with your husband for the rest of your life but that doesn't mean a long the way you didn't fall in love several times or even continue to love people while you are with your husband. Just because you love someone so much does not mean you are meant to be with that person. There maybe people in life you will never stop loving but that's okay. You have a big good heart we are all capable of it. You just have to be willing to open yourself up to it after getting hurt the first time and move on. Falling in love is one of the most amazing feelings and every time its different with a different person but it will still feel just as amazing the first time.
When I started to fall in love with corey it was incredible. My last ex of 2 1/2 years really hurt me so I closed myself down to even liking a guy for several years. Anthony was the first guy to like after my ex and it was a super nice feeling but then that ended after a few months and corey was there to pick me up. First as a friend and then more than a friend. All we did was talk and talk and we connected even while he was with his gf of 1 1/2 years. I never thought I would date him but im so happy that I did well sort of still. Anyways I didn't open myself up fully to him for awhile but when he talked about how he wanted to wake up to me in the morning possibly forever and his future became our future when he talked about it my wall broke down and I let it happen. I continued to trust him because he seemed so happy with me (that sounds selfish). I didn't tell him I loved him until after he broke my heart into a million pieces. He is only the second boy I have ever loved. I loved him at his most broken and weakest but he chose the girl who broke him and destroyed him and his moral values over me. The girl who couldn't even imagine ever hurting him. He never opened his heart to me because he was so consumed and obsessed with his ex because she never let him off her invisible hold. I know nothing about their break up like 5 years ago but he told me he was a complete wreck. so great you go back to her after what she did to you because she told you shes a changed woman and happens to be single right now. from what I hear shes quite popular with the men..i hope you can trust her. Some days I want you to feel the pain you put me through by her doing it to you so you can realize how shitty it really is but I would also feel bad if that did happen.
I continue to love him every damn day even after the horrible shit he did. I fell in love with him at his weakest and he was his weakest because of her and not letting himself open up to someone else like me. He has never loved anyone else but her. He has no idea how wonderful it can feel when it happens again after someone nearly destroying you the last time. I know its scary as all hell but sometimes its worth the risk. I know people will say oh it must be true love if they got back together after several years of being apart..yeah I think that's complete bullshit, my brother dated a girl off and on for 5 years and look at the mess that was. like I said two people can love each other and never stop but that doesn't mean that they are meant for each other. Clearly corey had to lie to me and sleep with her before telling me he wanted to go back to her instead of taking my feelings into consideration and sitting me down and talking to me to say this is how im feelings and this is what I need to do and I want to do it before we get deeper into our relationship and I hurt you beyond belief by doing something STUPID. that would be the logical thing to do and hes just full of logic...and he thought about it for a month. like wtf dude just drag me on for a month knowing that you could screw things up the farther you let it go.
what an idiot.
the future that we hold is so unclear but I will love him even down to the day he says I do to that son of a bitch. but it doesn't mean I wont move on. I just know I will always love him no matter what. my heart has a lot of love and he holds a place in it. just like my ex. I don't know if he will ever fall back into my life. I didn't know what was going to happen after 9 months with him either so yeah. Until my dying breath. it sounds dramatic but its true. he will always be my panda. no one else.
When I started to fall in love with corey it was incredible. My last ex of 2 1/2 years really hurt me so I closed myself down to even liking a guy for several years. Anthony was the first guy to like after my ex and it was a super nice feeling but then that ended after a few months and corey was there to pick me up. First as a friend and then more than a friend. All we did was talk and talk and we connected even while he was with his gf of 1 1/2 years. I never thought I would date him but im so happy that I did well sort of still. Anyways I didn't open myself up fully to him for awhile but when he talked about how he wanted to wake up to me in the morning possibly forever and his future became our future when he talked about it my wall broke down and I let it happen. I continued to trust him because he seemed so happy with me (that sounds selfish). I didn't tell him I loved him until after he broke my heart into a million pieces. He is only the second boy I have ever loved. I loved him at his most broken and weakest but he chose the girl who broke him and destroyed him and his moral values over me. The girl who couldn't even imagine ever hurting him. He never opened his heart to me because he was so consumed and obsessed with his ex because she never let him off her invisible hold. I know nothing about their break up like 5 years ago but he told me he was a complete wreck. so great you go back to her after what she did to you because she told you shes a changed woman and happens to be single right now. from what I hear shes quite popular with the men..i hope you can trust her. Some days I want you to feel the pain you put me through by her doing it to you so you can realize how shitty it really is but I would also feel bad if that did happen.
I continue to love him every damn day even after the horrible shit he did. I fell in love with him at his weakest and he was his weakest because of her and not letting himself open up to someone else like me. He has never loved anyone else but her. He has no idea how wonderful it can feel when it happens again after someone nearly destroying you the last time. I know its scary as all hell but sometimes its worth the risk. I know people will say oh it must be true love if they got back together after several years of being apart..yeah I think that's complete bullshit, my brother dated a girl off and on for 5 years and look at the mess that was. like I said two people can love each other and never stop but that doesn't mean that they are meant for each other. Clearly corey had to lie to me and sleep with her before telling me he wanted to go back to her instead of taking my feelings into consideration and sitting me down and talking to me to say this is how im feelings and this is what I need to do and I want to do it before we get deeper into our relationship and I hurt you beyond belief by doing something STUPID. that would be the logical thing to do and hes just full of logic...and he thought about it for a month. like wtf dude just drag me on for a month knowing that you could screw things up the farther you let it go.
what an idiot.
the future that we hold is so unclear but I will love him even down to the day he says I do to that son of a bitch. but it doesn't mean I wont move on. I just know I will always love him no matter what. my heart has a lot of love and he holds a place in it. just like my ex. I don't know if he will ever fall back into my life. I didn't know what was going to happen after 9 months with him either so yeah. Until my dying breath. it sounds dramatic but its true. he will always be my panda. no one else.
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